Coronavirus and Lockdown: The Children Interview
What do bumblebees, coronavirus, monkeys and tricycles have in common? Find out in one of our most delightful, insightful and fun interviews of two little girls and their mother on their thoughts on “the virus”, home-schooling and more.
Milijana and Ivana, aged 6 and 2, were interviewed by their mother Natalia (owner of her beauty business “Me, Myself and Beauty”). The family live in the small village Drighlington in Yorkshire and like many other families, and especially for self-employed business owners like Natalija, covid-19 has greatly impacted their lives.
Natalia was keen to understand what her daughters were really experiencing with their sudden life changes. In delightful short one line sentences, the girls demonstrate the power of focusing on something positive whilst blissfully discarding the negative, and the positive impact this can have on our wellbeing!
Miljana’s and Ivana’s interview also shows the beauty of children’s imagination, their resilience, their ability to be in the moment and their insistence in having fun regardless of external circumstances. This is important to note because the brain does not distinguish between what is true and what we perceive to be true, and will prepare us to to either fight, flight or immobilise depending on what we tell ourselves.
Read their delightful interview in article below. I also offer instructions to practice the beautiful “Tonglen” meditation with your children, which is very effective during uncertainty and strong emotions.
Milijana, Ivana and Natalia Interview on Covid-19
Milijana is 6 and Ivana is 2.
1. Girls, do you know what the Corona virus is?
Milijana: People are poorly, it’s a big bug.
Ivana: A bumble bee.
2. Who is the prime minister?
Milijana: Boris Johnson.
Ivana: I don’t think so.
3. How many days have we been in lockdown?
Milijana: 55 days.
Ivana: 20 days .
5. Do you want to go back to school?
Milijana: Yes.
Ivana: No.
6. Who is the first person you are going to see after lockdown?
Milijana: Nana.
Ivana: Grandad.
7. Where is the first place you want to go?
Milijana: Zizzi restaurant.
Ivana: The jungle.
8. What do you think we can do to get rid of the Corona virus?
Milijana: Put soap on it.
Ivana: Go on my trike!
9. Is mum a good teacher?
Milijana: A little bit.
Ivana: Yes.
10. If corona virus was an animal, what animal would it be?
Milijana: Cow.
Ivana: Monkey.
11. How did the Corona Virus start?
Milijana: In China.
Ivana: Bunny Rabbit.
12. What is your advice to parents, Doctors and the world today?
Milijana: wash your hands all the time, keep safe.
Ivana: I’ve hurt my toe and I feel like a monkey.
Like many other parents I have spoken to over the last couple of months in various parts of the world, the transition to home-schooling, loss of business activity and the uncertainty this has created, has not been an easy one. Natalia has one child at school and the other at nursery. As the girls are at different developmental and academic stages home-schooling is a challenge!
Natalia provides the below suggestions which have worked well for them below:
- If your country rules allow going outside, make the most of this opportunity. We go outside for walks so the girls can let off some steam/energy.
- Use every opportunity as a learning and play opportunity: girls have learnt new skills such as baking together, having “homemade science experiments” and developing “life skills” as alternatives to regular teaching.
- Organise virtual play dates and touch points: Milijana has enjoyed staying connected to her friend Lilah regularly on WhatsApp camera and they have even played games together. It has been heart-warming for Natalia to witness not only because her daughter has been to continue interacting with her friends but also to see first-hand how adaptable, flexible and resilient children are.
Tonglen Practice (adapted from Pema Chödrön and Thich Nhat Hanh)
Tonglen is an ancient and beautiful Buddhist compassion focused breathing and meditation practice we can teach ourselves and our children to practice any time. The technique is very easy to learn and a great thing to enjoy as a family. It is also particularly effective when a child experiences big feelings and emotions which they have not learnt to name and make sense of yet.
Tonglen involves “sending and receiving” to awaken compassion. For example, a child might experience frustration or even sadness at not being able to connect with friends and relatives. They might witness others, including animals experience hardship and suffering, and feel various emotions. Instead of teaching our children to not feel their feelings we can instead role model how to welcome all experiences, role-modelling how we can let these in and wash out of us like a surfer “surfs the wave”.
With each in-breath, we take in our powerful feelings (including others’ pain). With each out-breath, we send relief. This practice helps us work with all which arises – thoughts, feelings emotions – instead of avoiding or numbing suffering or seeking only pleasurable and comfortable experiences. It essentially teaches us how to accept each moment and let go which brings much peace.
Basic Instructions To Practice “Tonglen”
If something is upsetting your children and they have shared what it (the situation) might be, ask them if they would be willing to try something to help them manage their feelings. If they are happy to try this with you, you could take them through the below steps.
Preparation
- Sit comfortably on a sofa, chair, meditation pillow or mat (put some padding underneath if you are on a mat).
- You can sit cross legged if you and your children are used to it.
- Ensure you don’t slouch your back and don’t strain your neck.
- Hands are kept on top on of our legs by the knees.
- Our eyes are 3/4 open gazing gently on one spot so we don’t fall asleep.
The “Tonglen” Practice
- Settle into the moment allowing your mind to just be. This stage is “called awakening our heart-mind to basic spaciousness and clarity”.
- Ask your children to bring into their conscious awareness or their mind the upsetting situation.
- Next as they bring the upsetting situation into their mind, instruct them to breathe in all the uncomfortable, hurt, other difficult thoughts or feelings that are associated with the painful situation. For adults you are imagining you are taking all this in completely into yourself, in every fibre of your being.
- Finally, as you breathe out, ask them to send out happy and positive thoughts, feelings and their wishes for happiness to the person/the situation/the pet etc. For adults as you breathe out, imagine that you are doing so from every single cell of your body.
- Repeat the above steps during 2/3 min and check in with your children. Ask them how this experience was. You can share with them, with this direct experience, that thoughts and feelings just come and go, that we do not to hang onto them and we can just observe them, name the feeling and breath them out. With some practice we can learn to help ourselves and others we care about before reacting.
If you are interested in learning more, check our online courses offerings here where we teach Tonglen and other modalities as part of our 9 week online foundation course available on our proprietary platform from June 2020.
Children can teach us much about being in the moment, focusing on joy, happiness and fun. They also show us by their example, the consequences of deviating from that inherent state of joy, playfulness and being in the moment. They demonstrate that it is ok to feel what we feel and that in a moment soon the feeling will go if they are accompanied by loving tender care. We can’t control external circumstances people and events, but we have it in our power to control what we choose to think, feel and do, moment by moment, as Milijana, Ivana and children show us.
My deepest gratitude to Milijana, Ivana and Natalia for their generosity in allowing me to share Natalia’s (ingenious idea of the) interview of her girls, personal photos so that we can have a glimpse into children’s thoughts and feelings.
[Disclaimer: No parts of this interview may be copied and published without permission from the author. Copyright Natalia, Irena Grgona and Your Alchemists. Author of original interview questions is unknown. Questions are retrieved from other similar interviews posted on Facebook on 11 May 2020]
Natalia and I are relatives but are not affiliated. Natalia is a mum of 2 girls (6 & 2yrs old) owning her own beauty business, called “Me, Myself and Beauty” in a small village Drighlington in Yorkshire, England. She will be open for business soon once safety guidelines have been issued. You can find her by doing an online search.]